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Monday, December 31, 2012

Resolutions - beware



HAPPY NEW YEAR

That is the nice and friendly bit. Now sit down as we need to talk.

So it is 12 hours before the clock strikes and 2012 fades into 2013. This also signals a fresh start for many people as they finally decide that this magical day will be the one that starts their journey of success, achievement and fulfilment.

STOP

OK, put the kettle on and then come back in a few minutes as we need to get serious

Ready?

Good!



Being as nice as I possibly can without clumping you around the head with a radish the fact that you even entertain resolutions tells me something very powerful about you and hopefully I can offer some help to fix this. We could trawl through all the quotations in the world and fancy statements that make you feel good (for 30 seconds) and then realise that normal life just kicks right back in and we revert to being us. The danger of the resolution is that the idea of empowering a single day on the calendar with the ability to "fix" aspects of your life that you have either neglected for many years or avoided doing is a recipe for failure for many people. You almost end up playing resolution Groundhog Day. If it is not this year then it will certainly be the next one!


One thing you need to understand is that there is no right time and there will never be a right time until you realise that NOW is where everything happens and always will. We have a constant choice nearly every minute of every day to continue as we are, grabbing random moments of happiness, suffering the rest of the time and trying to keep it all together. This is until we realise that within us is the capacity to be truly amazing. Consider the people that you look up to in any areas and then ask yourself what stops you being exactly the same? When you realise that they are just people that had a dream, set a journey to achieve it and then rolled their sleeves up and consistently chipped away until they arrived you can put the whole thing in perspective. Life goals are exactly the same. As a fitness professional I can only really speak for my own field. However, having studied psychology, philosophy and qualified in NLP you realise that the situation is not what is important, it is the individual and their relationship to it. Therefore you realise that it is really all the same. You either do or you do not do. So from the industry I am sure you can appreciate that literally millions of people worldwide will hope that 2013 will be the year where they become healthier, go to the gym and get in shape. The problem inherent in this resolution is that if you do not nail it down with coherent steps and a game-plan to achieve it, failure is imminent. For example, if you tell me you want to get in shape or lose weight I should chase you around for a few hours with a pointed stick. Not to help you get fit, but to help you realise that this non-specific half-arsed, vapour of a goal is what is causing all the problems in the first place. If you go for a random walk with no particular aim or destination you can probably appreciate you might not get there. If that lost you then see what the mind has to deal with when you state non-specific and wishy washy goals such as "I want to get in shape". You already have a shape and it is not one that you can either get in or out of - it is you. Now, should you want to change that you have to set a specific journey with measurable gaols that you alone are answerable to. Something like -


I want to lose 3 stone and I am planning on 2kg each month by going to the gym and changing my diet and I will monitor this every week and check my progress.

You could even post this as a training thread on a forum and make yourself socially accountable - nothing like peer pressure and accountability to nuke your comfort zone!

That is specific and can be nailed down. It is tangible and has progressive steps that are both visible and can be realistically achieved. A note of caution is that in the deep recesses of your grey matter are all the promises you have ever made and all the things you were going to do. The brain makes no distinction and files them all away. However, those that are not achieved reside in the subconscious and poke you forever more. This is not a good way to ensure mental health. You must be willing to do whatever it takes and this is more apparent the more times you have previously tried this resolution and failed. The day is not important. What you are willing to give in order to achieve is the deciding factor. If you complain about your weight yet have a poor diet, do not exercise and watch TV for 3 hours every evening then you should realise that you are your own problem. No-one ever wished they had spent more time in front of the TV when the family gather around them to say their last goodbyes. People wish they had achieved more, taken more risks, had more fun, told people they loved them and kicked the clowns and time vampires out of their life. It may be that you need to change more than just going to the gym. They say we are the sum total of the 5 people closest to us - if that is the problem - change them as well. The only thing you have to lose is your total future happiness and achievements so maybe 3 hours of TV every night and the pub every weekend are the best options. I can't do it for you. I can only poke you a few times and hope the bubble bursts. You have a choice and that choice is to accept that the rest of your life will be exactly the same as all that has passed, or you can choose to join those that have woken up and are sick and tired of playing the game and conforming. The warriors that will not accept anything less than success, regardless of what they have to do, who they have to say no to and how tough the journey ahead may get.

Every year that passes is not another opportunity, it is another sacrifice that has been thrown away.

Do it now, do it once, do it with conviction and a sledge hammer - be amazing being you!


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